یک‌سال پسا طالبان؛ دفن آرزوهای یک نسل محتوم و مملو از آرزو

توسط Husna Sarwary

«دیدگاه» بیان‌گر نظریات صاحب‌نظران است و آماج‌نیوز در این مورد «پالیسی توازن» را دنبال می‌کند و از دیدگاه تمامی طرف‌ها استقبال و نشر می‌کند.

روزی که دنیایی روشنم به تاریکی گرایید، آفتاب آرزوهایم غروب کرد و دیگر ندرخشید. زمانی‌که طالبان داخل شهر کابل شدند بغض عمیقی گلویم را فشرد و دیگر امید را از دست دادم؛ درست شبیه یک جسد بدون روح شدم.

داستان‌هایی‌که از ۲۵ سال قبل برایم تعریف شده بود، یکایک پیش چشمانم می‌دیدم و هی تکرار می‌شد؛ شلاق زدن زنان به‌جرم بیرون‌ رفتن از خانه بدون محرم، سنگ‌سار، باز ماندن از تحصیل و گرفتن حتا ابتدایی‌ترین حقوق زنان.

هراس داشتم که بیرون را از پنجره‌ی اتاق نگاه کنم مجرم پنداشته شوم، می‌شدم تردیدی نبود/نیست، می‌ترسیدم که مبادا برای دیدن نور آفتاب مورد بازپرس قرار گیرم که، برای چه به بیرون نگاه کردم، هر چیز ممکن بود بلی ممکن بود؛ چون یکی از عجایب‌ترین قانون در جامعه حاکم بود، قانون طالبان قانون خودی خود که نه ربط به شریعت داشت و دارد و نه راهی به سوی انسانیت.

هر روزی که سپری می‌شد دنیایم تاریک و تاریک‌تر شده می‌رفت. هم‌واره با خود تکرار می‌کردم که خدایا مگر ما با کدامین جرم سزاوار و مستحق چنین عذابیم؟ به حال وطنم می‌گریستم؛ چون وطنم شبیه کربلایی شده بود که هم‌اندیشه‌های حسین، در کام جنود یزید فرو می‌رفتند.

پگاهِ آن روز در کنار پنجره‌ی اتاق به تماشای مردم نشستم، دلم می‌خواست مردم را تماشا کنم که در یک شب چه‌گونه رویاهای بیست ساله‌ی شان انشعاب کرد و مضمحل شد. باور کنید هرشخص که به چشمم می‌خورد حکایت عجیب و غریبی داشت؛ گرچند با هیچ یکی هم‌کلام نشده بودم؛ اما می‌دانستم اگر سر رشته‌ی سخن با آنان باز شود، ساعت‌ها حرف به گفتن دارند و اشک برای گریستن؛ چون چهره و چشم‌های هر شخص ره‌گذر روایاتی داشت که باید خودت هم‌داستان شان می‌شدی تا داستان‌های چهره‌شان را به خوانش می‌گرفتی.

همین‌طور، هر روز که سپری می‌شد یأس و ناامیدی دروازه خانه‌های تک‌تک هم‌میهنانم را کوبیده و در کوچه و خیابان‌های‌ که از هیاهوی کودکان پُر بود، نقش می‌بست؛
اما بازهم ادامه می‌دادیم، برای رسیدن به روزهای روشن که فردایش از آن روز، تاریک‌تر بود.

پس از سقوط کابل، دل‌خوشی برای زنده‌گی ندارم چون جای لبخندهای قشنگ ما را اشک و حسرت روزهای گذشته گرفته، جای صدای موسیقی را صدای پدران، خانمان و کودکانی گرفته که برای پیدا کردن لقمه‌ی نانی دست‌ گدایی دراز می‌کنند و خالی بر می‌گردانند. دیگر لبخندهای مادران ما از بین رفته؛ پسران میهنم آرزوهای خویش را در ممالک بیرون از افغانستان جست‌وجو می‌کنند. نسل آفتاب و روشنایی مان «دختران سرزمینم» از مکتب باز ماندند؛ دیگر حواس پسر بچه‌ی به ساعت ۸صبح ایام مکتب نیست؛ دیگر خبری از تقسیم اوقات و وظایف خانه‌گی شاگردان نیست. دیگر روزها مهم نیست، شنبه و چند شنبه‌اش را کس نمی‌داند؛ چون نه مکتبی برای رفتن است و نه وظایفی برای پیدا کردن لقمه نانی.

روزها رخصت هستیم و شب‌ها با عالم از غم در بستر خواب؛ راستی صبح‌ها هم انگیزه‌ای برای برخواستن از خواب نیست، گاهن آرزوی خواب می‌کنیم، آرزوی یک خوابِ همیشه‌گی.

هر روز خبرهای از استان‌های سرزمینم می‌شنوم که دختران مظلوم ما را به‌زور و بدون رضایت شان به شوهر می‌دهند و اگر کسی خلاف این عقیده‌ها عمل کند، در کنار دیگر حق‌ها، حق زنده‌گی را نیز از او می‌گیرند.

سرتان را به درد نیاورم، زنده‌گی که ما داریم زنده‌گی نیست؛ بل‌که مرگی‌ست که روح را کُشته و جسد را در بیابانی وسط موجودات ناشناخته، رها کرده است.

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